Let me explain.
A few months ago, after a particularly draining day at school, I decided to reward all my hard efforts of staying awake in my classes and not leaving early out of boredom with some much-deserved ice cream. My particular flavor I was craving that day, green tea ice cream, was only available from Haagen Dazs in those tiny, expensive tubs that are a terrible deal in terms of dollars per ounce. But my mind was set. I got off the bus and made a beeline to the Vons right beside my apartment to get my tiny tub of green tea ice cream.
My thoughts of hedonistic dairy consumption dissipated as I walked across the parking lot to the market, however. I was suddenly approached by a somewhat unkempt middle-aged woman who immediately launched into a seemingly pre-prepared speech:
"PLEASE DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE my family just got kicked out of our apartment and my family is in my car and we need money for a hotel tonight my baby girl is cold please you can go see for yourself I'm telling the truth I promise if I'm lying you can have me arrested but please if you have any kindness please help us out I can pay you back one day--" The woman spoke with such rapidity and desperation I just kind of stood there, not knowing what to do or when to interject.
"I have, like, two bucks," I said, truthfully. I handed her the two dollars I had in my wallet. She took the money, quickly thanked me, and hurried off presumably to the next compassionate shopper.
At home, the green tea ice cream didn't taste as good as usual. The taste in my mouth wasn't the usual sweet flavor of the ice cream, it was cold, acrid, and bitter. The events from earlier churned slowly in my mind. I tried to justify my actions, and weigh the pros and cons of other responses I could have had.
My first thought: the woman was probably just hustling for money. This may be true. I'd seen other homeless individuals use the exact same schtick about a family in a car in that same parking lot, if fact.
There may have actually been a real family in the car. Also possibly true. It takes sincere desperation for something to ask for a stranger's money in a parking lot. It made sense in a city-wide context as well: Long Beach's homeless rate is among the top 10 for large American cities.
Giving out cash is an ineffective way to combat poverty/homelessness. True. It can create dependency on aid and handouts, and can exacerbate someone's dependence on people and systems for money rather than seeking purpose and empowerment through vocation or a role in community.
But Jesus calls us to be servant to all, especially the poor. Also true. There' s the whole business of Matthew 19 when Jesus is talking to the young man who wants to know how to inherit eternal life, and Jesus says, "Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." If that wasn't clear enough already, Jesus then adds on "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."
During his sermon on the mount, Jesus also mentions to "Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you" (Matt 5:42). So Jesus makes himself pretty clear on the attitude with which we should be interacting with the poor.
Yeesh. So what was the best decision in a situation like the one I found myself in? If I ignored the woman and just bought myself green tea ice cream, that would seem pretty clearly in contrast to what Jesus had taught. But to just thoughtlessly give the woman money because I felt bad(or worse, just because I wanted her to go away), then I would just be enabling and perpetuating a cycle of dependency and handouts without actually helping the woman in any way rise above her situation of poverty and homelessness.
That whole incident wasn't necessarily deep or profound or even a new experience for me, but it did make me realize how I let the issue of systemic poverty and brokenness affect me: I don't. It literally took a stranger to walk up to me and begin telling me her life story for me to even let the plight of those less fortunate than me from the very city I'm living in affect me firsthand. Part of that avoidance is my own selfishness, certainly, but another part is that confusion of what attitude and actions I should be taking towards poverty. Knowing how to interact with individuals caught in its cycle seems like navigating a confusing maze of contradicting values and ideas. How am I supposed to care for those less fortunate than me in earnest, without just handing them money to go away and assuage my guilty conscience? How can I help those in need be restored to whole without making their condition worse? Does it help or hurt to give strangers money? How can I even start think about fostering relationship with the poor and homeless in my community when it seems to be a rotating cast of individuals in one area, even from day to day? How would Jesus deal with handouts vs long-term community integration and rehabilitation of the poor and homeless? Could I ever enjoy green tea ice cream without experiencing the weight of a deep spiritual and existential dread ever again?
The answer is I don't know. I feel dissatisfied with the meager knowledge I have now, but I know God is good enough to have answers to my questions. Based on the accounts of friends who have already gone through it, LAUP will be difficult, challenging, upsetting, unsettling, and overwhelming, but undoubtedly rewarding. And according to my friend Matt, "LAUP made the gospel make more sense."
So here's to LAUP. Here's to witnessing urban poverty firsthand. Here's to living on $5 for food a day. To the individuals and families my team will be serving, and the relationships that we'll make. To having my selfish, privileged, and wholly solipsistic worldview challenged and flipped inside out as my heart is transformed to be more like His in my attitude towards the poor.
Here's to green tea ice cream and getting dunked on by Jesus.
~
EDIT: LAUP is now about a week away, and the teams going to LAUP and abroad still need to collectively raise about $17000(ahh!) If you would like to make a donation:
1. Go to https://
2. type in a $ amount (ignore the top part that asks you to type in a name because you're already at the right place)
3. it should lead you to a place where you can input all your name and other giving info.
If you aren't able to give financially, that's ok! You can also support mu team through prayer, which is just as important. I'll get into specific things you can be praying for in the next post. Thanks for reading this far!
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